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It never pays to argue with well-established facts, not in the long term anyway. That's like a regular fatwah, but with Tom Cruise. But it's not just that animals are mindless savages--and they are--it's that some of them are just straight-up douchebags.

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He had a wonderful teaching career, and he made a profound impression on his students. Or that his slimy cult leader routine proved to be the not-so-subtle inspiration for GI Joe nemesis Cobra Commander? Chimpologists have a few theories as to why it almost has a ceremonial quality, some have said , but frankly they all sound like they're making half assed guesses.

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Charmingly bitchy, like a cartoonish version of the high-school snob, Lily Allen often took aim at ex-boyfriends in her songs, while saving the vitriol she held for other celebrities for face-to-face encounters. Don't make me do this again. But no one comes close to the kind of calculated antagonism spewed by Ted Nugent, particularly in , when he brandished an assault rifle on stage and said, "Obama's a piece of shit. I've got my whole life ahead of me. His theory was that AIDS victims weren't infected with a virus at all, but that those damn homos and hippies just keep doing drugs , and AIDS is just the natural result of drug use.
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  1. You may have thought we'd run out of upsetting things that have been yanked out of people by doctors.